Making a Plan

In Recovery we learn to make plans and decisions to prepare for situations. This helps us choose better what would be good for us and our mental health.

Today, after I don't know how many days in a row of frustration with giving instructions and having them be ignored and struggling to stay calm, I decided to make a plan.

I have been working with Amy (and sometimes Noel) on behaviors by doing SODAS. These are exercise where we discuss advantages and disadvantages of certain options in a given situation. I decided to do this exercise myself to think clearly about my choices when giving instructions.

I am specifically struggling to stay calm and follow through when giving instructions about morning routines and chores. I have struggled with frustration and self-doubt and anger and blame through day after day of giving instructions and being argued with or not obeyed. Whatever I do, I wonder if it is a good way or if I am doing it right.

I read a great book with many applications of parenting principles that I am trying to implement. I really like it and results we are seeing. The hardest part during these daily struggles with morning routine and chores is lowering my tolerances, following through, staying calm, and avoiding the temptation to micro-manage. Today I was thinking how much I wanted the  children to take responsibility and obey and wondering all along if my micro-managing was hindering their learning responsibility and my not always following through sabotaging their feeling of needing to obey.